A Magical Quest For A Useless Item
by Invader Yaz
Summary: The G-boys must travel to another world, Hummahummawarga, to recover the Cater Rod. Warning: Shounen-ai, some swearing, and a few typos. [Two new chapter has been added. Wee!]
1. Hanging Origami Cranes and Senshi Fuku

Disclaimers: Yadda yadda ... I do not own Gundam Wing, yadda yadda, I do not own any other yadda yadda anime that I may happen to mention. But I DO own Ume Kuhonu, Skye Raine, Eterna Vision, *and* Starsatyre. I also made up all the names of the places. o_o;;  
  
My lame attempt at humor. The G-boys must travel to another world, Hummahummawarga, to recover the Cater Rod. I was somehow inspired by "A Long, Adventurous, Mystical Journey." Go figure. O_o;; Warning: Shounen-ai.  
  
Key thingy:  
[] = Emotocon to show emotion  
* = Inhanced word.  
:: = Action within a sentance.  
"" = Quotes.  
'' = Thought.  
  
One rainy day, Ume, Skye, and the G-boys stood in a train station. Duo buisily chowed-down on a cheeseburger, while the others tried to decide the best route to get to Cherry Hill.  
  
Skye: If we take train B, get off at Onika, take train Y, get off at Jeiva, take bus 67 for seven stops, and cross my back yard, we should get there soon.  
Heero: Then we'd have *passed* Cherry Hill *five* times, baka.  
  
Skye looked at the map for a second.  
  
Skye: ... Oh yeah. My bad. [oo;;]  
Quatre: How about we take train S, switch to X where they cross, get off at Mumaro, take bus 5, transfer to bus 87, get off at Sero, take train A, get off at the airport, take a plane to San Francisco, then fly to Humero airport, and take train B?  
Trowa: And, what? Take *five* days to do that?  
Quatre: Umm.. yeah?  
Heero: Bakas..  
Ume: I'VE GOT IT! Lets take train R! [^____________^!]  
  
Everyone stares at the map, surprised the Ume, of all people, found the simplest route, while Ume did a victory dance, full of spins and jumps, drawing attention to them. Wufei grabs Ume, making her stop.  
  
Wufei: Stop that! [--']  
Ume: Sorryyyyy. [^^;]   
Skye: So... lets go.  
Ume: Dun froget about *my* Duo-e-wuo-e!  
Heero: DUO! You done? ::Annoyed, as always, about how Ume seemed to claim Duo as hers, even thought everyone knew he and Duo were a couple.::  
Duo: ::Muffled by full mouth:: Yup.  
Trowa: So, lets go.  
Mysterious voice: Not so fast!  
  
Everyone spun around quickly, to find themselves looking at a 17-year-old girl, with crimson hair, and wearing a long, gothic, black dress, impossibly high black heels, several cross necklaces, and large cross earings.  
  
Wufei: Who the *hell* are *you*?  
Mysterious Girl: *I* am Eterna Vision! But *you* can call me Eterna-hime, or preferrably, Eterna-hime-sama.  
Quatre: ::Sparkly eyes:: How do you do thaaaat??  
Eterna: What? Float?  
  
Quatre nodded enthousiatically. Eterna snaps her fingers, and an new, slightly-bigger-than-pocket-sized book appeared in her hand, and she thrusted it out for everyone to see.  
  
Eterna: Guide For Anime Super Villians!  
Skye: ... That says "Learn To Speak Spanish."  
  
Eterna turned to book to look at it, for the first time.  
  
Eterna: ... Oh yeah. Wrong book.  
  
That book dissapears, and an old, thick, tattered, brown book appeared in her hands. She checked it first, before thursting it out for everyone to see.  
  
Eterna: This one!  
  
Everyone looked at the book for a second.  
  
Ume: So... this book. Can I buy one in a store?  
Eterna: No, of course not.  
Ume: Damn.  
Skye: How does this tell us how you can fly?  
Eterna: Well.. it doesn't, but this does!  
  
She opens it to a dog-eared page, still thrusting it out. Everyone gets wide-eyed. [O_O..] Eterna peaks at the page.  
  
Eterna: Oh. Whoops. Wrong page. Can you believe *some* people acctually use that method to kill? Sheez. Too much ooz and gooz. I've got *way* too many pages marked.  
  
Flipping a few pages over, she re-thrusted the book out.  
  
Eterna: See? *This* page says that all anime super villians are aloud to break the laws of gravity, except when we're in a really big battle, and it'd be really handy.  
Heero: So? And this is important to us because...?  
Eterna: Well, you see, I've turned Duo into a mass chow-hound, and I made Ume really smart.. and.. um.. I can turn you all into mass lumps of metallic pork livers!  
Duo: Metallic pork livers..? Yummy... ::Drools, is already eating a million-scoop ice cream cone.::  
Ume: You mean I'm only smart because of *you*?  
Eterna: Yup!  
Ume: DAMNED!  
Quatre: Shhh. No swearing. ::Tsk tsk.::  
Eterna: And to turn you back, you all have to travel to my world.. called.. Hummahummawarga. And you have to.. recover the.. CATER ROD from my fort, which is floating *two* and a *half* feet above the ground! And then you can all come home and live happily ever after.  
Wufei: And what if we don't?  
Eterna: I'll turn you all into lumps of metallic pork livers.  
Duo: Metallic pork livers... ::Drool, eating fish sticks, after finishing his ice cream.::  
Eterna: Now, you must go... because... I said so!  
Heero: Just go away..  
  
But it was too late. The group had already be sucked up into blackness. The G-boys, plus Ume and Skye, found themselves in a black pit, with a ladder. They all climbed the ladder, one after another, and found themselves underwater.  
  
Trowa: WtF...?  
Eterna's voice: DAMMIT! Wrong world.  
  
Clangs and bangs come from no where.  
  
Eterna's voice: Come on, you stupid thing! WORK!  
Skye: Thing? What thing?  
Eterna's voice: Nothing for you to worry about.  
Quatre: So, where are we?  
Eterna's voice: None of you're buisness.  
  
More clangs and bangs come from no where.  
  
Eterna's voice: AHA!  
  
And suddenly, the group is sucked into blackness again. Then they find themselves in a forest, with grass, birds, trees, and standing next to a small stream. Of course, the trees were cardboard, the grass was really astro turf, the stream was painted on, and the birds were origami paper cranes, strung on fising line, hanging from the sky, which *should* be impossible. And, if to make things worse, they were all wearing Sailor Moon outfits.  
  
Ume: Oh my God..  
  
... To be continued!  
  
Note: Cater means diagonally. I picked it randomly from the GIGANTIC dictionairy. Muwah. o_O; 


	2. To Be Wed!

Yaaaaaaay! - Cheers from the background. - There's a whole new chapter. Yipee! Insperation is down, so it might be kinda.. odd. Yeah. Doodley-Doos are cheese-covered corn puffs. I couldn't remember the name of the actual thing, so I made one up. oO;;  
  
--  
  
  
Screams echoed through the origami-filled land, as the Gundam boys realized they were wearing Sailor senshi outfits. Well, all except Duo, who was munching on a cardboard tree, having found nothing else to eat.  
  
Skye: Ewwe.. Duuuooo.. don't eat that.  
Ume: It's bad for you! It's filled with Vitamin WXYZ!  
  
Duo continues to eat the tree. Heero and Wufei are maddly running around, trying to find their own clothes. Quatre examines his senshi fuku.  
  
Quatre: Does this skirt make me look fat..?  
Trowa: Maybe if you didn't eat so many Doodley-Doos, it wouldn't.  
Quatre: But Trowa! They're so filled with yummy cheesey goodness that warms the heart and soul!  
Skye: Theeeey aaaaare? ::Sparkley eyes::  
Quatre: Yes! [^___^]  
  
A bag of Doodley-Doos pop out from the middle of nowhere, and Quatre shows it to Skye.  
  
Quatre: See? It even says on the package!  
Skye: Woooow..  
  
Duo runs up to them, steals the cheesey treats, and runs of.  
  
Duo: MUWAHAHAHA! ::Pops open the bag, pouring the Doodley-Doos into his mouth.::  
Ume: You know, you might get fat if you eat too much.  
Heero: Yeah. *I* might no like that. ::Hint hint, hint hint.:: (Author: o____O;; .. Where did THAT come from?)  
Duo: Can't.. Stop.. EATING! [O_O..]  
Eterna's voice: I told you! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. ::cough, hack.:: ... HAHAHAHAHA.. ha.. ha.. ::Ahem.::  
  
The entire group sweatdrops.  
  
Another mysterious voice: SHU-HUSH! Yer not supposed to help them!  
Eterna's voice: I WASN'T!  
AMV: .. LIES! .. For I can smell... LIES...  
Eterna's voice: Right, Starsatyre, right.  
Starsatyre: You have revealed my one true name! AGH...! I will ment noooow!  
  
The sounds of gooshy meltingness fill the area.  
  
Eterna's voice: .. What a freak..  
  
And then her voice's presence fades.  
  
Wufei: Now THAT was weird..  
Ume: .. Yep.  
Skye: Uh-huh..  
Quatre: Mm-hmm..  
Duo: ::Munch munch:: Fnorglefur..  
Heero: Eh?  
Duo: ::Swallows:: .. I said I agree.  
Heero: Right.   
Trowa: .. LOOK! HUMAN-ISH THINGS! ::Points.::  
  
Everyone turned to look where Trowa was pointing, and indeed, there were people. But not just any people. People in clothes. Clothes that were.. food shapped. Now, these food people lived in a villlage. But not just any normal village. A villiage with houses that were boxes. Boxes with cut-out doors. Cut-out doors that were blocked by shower curtains. A variety of shower curtains. Ones with fish, ones with shells, ones with dogs. There was one partucular person, though. This person was dressed as a tomato.  
  
Duo: ... TOMATO!!!!  
  
And that was when he pounced. He pounced atthe tomato-person, and bit into the fabric. The person screamed.  
  
Person: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!  
Duo: .. This tomato speaks!  
Quatre: Speak us your tomato-y wisdom, oh great tomato!  
Person: I.. am Sakura.  
  
And indeed, it was Sakura. Of Card Captor Sakura. She was dressed in the tomato costume. Why? No one knew. But who cares.  
  
Skye: Oh great Sakura! Speak us your wisdom!  
  
But then they were inturrupted. A person dressed as a can of tuna ran up to them.  
  
Duo: TUNAAAAAAA!  
Sakura: Julian! What are you doing here?  
  
Indeed, the tuna's name was Julian. From Card Captor Sakura. His name was Julian, because the author was incapable of remembering his Japanese name.  
  
Julian: Sakura! What are you doing, speaking with these foreigners? You know what the Almighty One would say!  
Sakura: It's not what you think! This braided one came and bit me!  
Julian: ::Gasp:: THEN YOU ARE TO BE WED!  
Heero and Ume: WHAAAT?!?!?!?!?!  
Skye: Just because he bit her?  
Julian: Of course! It is the custom!  
Ume: I have heard of this! It is the custom of the Food-People!  
Wufei: .. Wow. You don't say?  
Julian: We must take you to our box! Come, follow meeeeee!  
  
And so, everyone went to follow Julian. Soon, they came upon a box. It was like any other box, but this one was special. Why was it special? Well, I'm not sure.  
  
Sakura: Box, sweet box!  
Julian: Enter, all!  
  
So they all went inside. And there was a tv. And before the tv sat an old woman. But not any old woman, for she was dressed as a can of soda.  
  
Sakura: Grandmother Hikari! I am to be wed!  
  
The can of soda turned to face the newcommers. And indeed, it was Hikari. Hikari from Digimon. But alas, she was an old lady. Poor poor Hikari. And she spoke in an old-lady voice, as most old ladies do.  
  
Hikari: Weeeelll weeell, Sakuuurrra. It was abooooout time you got weeeed.  
Heero: Weed?  
Trowa: She said wed.  
Heero: She did?  
Quatre: Yes.  
Julian: Shush! Grandmother Hikari speaks!  
  
The ancient Digidestined rose to her feet, slowly, ever so slowly, as often an old lady does. And slowly, ever so slowly, she moved towards the group. And she got there, five months later. Cobwebs encrusted the people, and all were thin and frail skeletons. Well, all except Duo, for he had eaten much over this passing time which it took Hikari to reach them.  
  
Hikari: Now now, Sakura. You must wear my dress. The dress I wore when I was wed. The dress that is in my closet. The dress that is white. The dress that is lacey. The dress that is old. The dress that is..  
Wufei: Shut up, already!  
Julian: ::Gasp:: How dare you speak to an elder like that?  
  
Wufei shrugged.  
  
Sakura: I can not be wed to someone who has such a rude friend!  
Duo, Ume, and Heero: WHOO!  
  
All three did a little jig. Everyone turned to look at Heero oddly, and he stopped abruptly.  
  
Skye: We need your help, though. How do we get to the land of Hummahummawarga?  
  
Julian, Sakura, and Hikari gasped.  
  
Sakura: How dare you speak of the Almighty One's world!  
Julian: You should be burnt at the steak! (Yes, steak as in food, not stake as in stick. o_O.)  
  
All three of the food people began to crowd around the group, which must have been hard, since there were so many to crowd around.  
  
.. What will happen to our characters? WIll they be burnt at the steak? Will they escape? Find out soon, or not, in the next episode of.. whatever it is I call this fan-fic!  
  
--  
  
Yes, I used crossover characters. but that was because I couldn't think of anyone else. Muwah. The reference of the tuna can came from an episode where they did some play or something, and Julian was the tuna can. I think. 


	3. Blessed With Powers... Or Not?

I've decided to merge this fic with 'The Gundam Pilots as Senshi.. with Vegeta.'  
  
---  
  
As Sakura, Hikari, and Julian were still trying to crowd around the group, there was a bright light. And this bright light shined. Oh yes, did it shine. And suddenly then, there was a cat floating above their heads. Not just any cat, but a cat with a machine part strapped to it's head. Now, this cat spoke. And indeed, he spoke well. For what he said made them all freeze. Or perhaps, it was not what he said, but just that fact that he said it.  
  
Cat: Freeze! I am here to help you on this quest, pilots of the machines. My name is Tulie. I have come to grant each of you special powers. But not just any special powers. Ones that are special.  
  
Then the light shone brighter, and it enveloped each of the pilots, and Ume and Skye, too. They became true Sailor senshi now. Oh yes, it was a special day.  
  
Tulie: You are not all Sailor senshi! Sailor Wing Zero, you are the leader, for you hold the key to destruction. Sailor Nataku, you hold the power of fire. Sailor Sandrock, you hold the power of water. Sailor Heavyarms, you hold the power of light. Sailor Deathscythe, you hold the power of nature. Sailor Honu, you hold the power of Time. And finally, Sailor Raine, you hold the power of the sky.  
Quatre: - Screams. - IT CAN TALK! [^_______^!]  
Duo: I wanna eat it. Can I, can I, pleeease?  
Heero: Oh, God. Not only am I dressed as a Sailor senshi, I *AM* a sailor senshi.. [--''..]  
Sakura: Oh dear, not we'll never be able to take the to The Almighty One. A bunch of cards and a cat will never be able to stand up to them..  
Hikari: ::Sigh:: You are right. Now, help me back to my chair.  
Julian: Hold it. We can beat them. For we have a secret weapon!  
Sakura: ::Gasp:: .. You mean..?  
Julian: Yes! VEGETA!  
  
And then vegeta came out. He did this, for he was their weapon. But not just any old weapon. A *SECRET* weapon.  
  
  
---  
Sorry for this chapter's shortness. I'll lengthen it later.  
  
Heero: Sailor Wing Zero: Sailormoon  
Wufei: Sailor Nataku: Sailormars  
Quatre: Sailor Sandrock: Sailormercury  
Trowa: Sailor Heavyarms: Sailorvenus  
Duo: Sailor Deathscythe: Sailorjupiter  
Ume: Sailor Honu: Sailorpluto  
Skye: Sailor Raine: Sailoruranus, sorta. 


End file.
